What a Girl Wants

This Christmas Elf was perusing the aisles of Target for last minute stocking stuffers on the 23rd when her cart was inexplicably taken over by forces outside of her control and forced, yes FORCED, into the shoe aisle. I don’t know how this happens to me, but it just does. It’s like an out of body experience. I just wake up the next morning, poorer, covered with new shoes. Truly!

Anyway, the Christmas Elf suddenly discovered lots and lots of size 7 1/2’s 70% off! What’s an Elf to do when she’s supposed to be getting stocking stuffers? She texted pictures back home to her daughter of sparkly gold shoes, red high heels and black shearling boots, “Tell me NO!!! please!” Elfie’s daughter said, “Those are not stocking stuffers!”

But alas, what a girl wants a girl gets. They were only $10!

To be fair the little Elf decided to bring home a pair of shoes for her little Elf-lette at home. I mean every girl wants shoes at Christmas, right?

Elf-lette was happy!

Elf-lette also learned well from Mama Elf. Mama Elf also had another pair of shoes under the tree from Elf-lette. A rockin’, wicked pair of shoes.

Go Elf-lette!!!

The littlest Elf-lette of all however, took the cake. He knew that every girl wants jewelry for Christmas. Little Elf-lette went shopping at the Santa Store at school several weeks ago and has hardly been able to contain his excitement for his mama Elf’s gift. He handed me a little jewelry box and said, “You’re gonna scream!”

Inside was a precious, fake ring. But, to little Elf-lette’s innocent eyes, it looked like a pure gold, sparkly real diamond ring. And Mama Elf wears it with pride. Little Elf-lette knows the real joy of Christmas. Every girl wants a gift that comes from a sincere heart of love.

I Like Your Toe Nails

It’s Christmas. Ahhh, that joyous time of year when the little ones are home from school which means. . .yelling, screaming, slamming doors, tears, boredom. What’s a mommy to do? This mommy took off work for a week just to be the PeaceKeeper. Not a good or Peace-On-Earth kind of scenario at all!

I was stalking my friends on Facebook today as my two boys were fighting over the couch.

“Nate, get your toe off of me.”

“I was here first Daniel.”

“No you weren’t.”

“Yes, I was.”

“DON’T TOUCH ME AGAIN!!!”

“So get off the couch.”

Finally in my calmest, most sensible Mommy voice I did what any Mom would do. I yelled.

“STOP IT!”

The little one left sniffling for his room.

Then on one of my friend’s Facebook pages I saw that she too was struggling with the same thing. And SHE had a friend who had a suggestion. So, I tried it.

I called Nate and Daniel back out, made them sit next to each other on the couch and told them they couldn’t get up til they looked at each other and said 5 nice things about each other.

The third thing that came out of Daniel’s mouth was, “Nate, I like your toe nails.”

HUH!?

They started giggling. Then they hugged. Mission accomplished.

As I write the two oldest are doing this exercise.

“Laura I like your jeans, I like you more than dirt.”

Sigh. Well, it’s a start.

And don’t forget, I like your toe nails.

Great Things About the South

I believe in making lemonade out of lemons and laughing when you feel like crying. So, although moving was super hard, I’ve come up with a lot of things already that are great about living in the South.

1. It’s warm. I mean, really, truly warm. Today it was nearly 70 on December 2nd. I had the windows open. The sun was shining and the birds were singing. Who cares if it doesn’t feel like Christmas? I’d rather feel like summer.

2. On that note, I can wear sandals in the winter! Yes!

3. Sweet tea.

4. Within 5 minutes of my house is a Starbucks. Also several grocery stores. Widen the radius to 10 minutes and we have a SuperTarget, Ulta, Bath and Body Works, Kohls, Old Navy, Payless Shoes and just about any restaurant you could want.

5. Yet on the other hand, the view out my back deck is nothing but woods and pine trees. It feels like we live in a little cabin in the woods. It’s quiet and peaceful here in our little Georgia home.

6. Apparently there are no need for ice scrapers here. I asked for one the other morning. “A what!” my friend, Cody replied. “You know an ice scraper to get the ice off my window.” He just looked at me funny, prancing with impatience to GET GOING HELLO!? and sipped his coffee. “We don’t have those here.” “What do you DO!?”  He just looked at me like I was an idiot, “We wait for it to melt.” Oh. Stupid me, of course!!

7. You can carry a handgun in Georgia. I don’t know, I just have always wanted to. So I’m gonna. :) Seriously, I saw this dude on his motorcycle with a gun in a holster on his hip! Whoa, that’s cool.

8. Best of all, I have fast internet. So I can use Facebook and Skype to keep in touch with all my Minnesota friends that I miss so much!